Originally posted February 9, 2014
how many mornings has the Holy Spirit woken me up at 5 am but i've just laid there?
....yes, at 50+ it could be hormones but God works through hormones too :0)
how many times have i laid there thinking i should get up and write instead lay there thinking?
how many times did the moment pass and when i got up i forgot all the ramblings and went about my day oblivious to the genius inside of me?
....maybe not above-average genius but for sure genius compared to my fully awake ramblings.
but not THIS morning. this morning i got up. i hope that's a sign of good things to come out of my head - out of my heart - and onto this virtual paper...
it's 6 am Sunday Feb 9, 2014.
my last post was April 2012. really??? 2 years? TWO YEARS!
do the math - that's 22ish months - 88 weeks - 660 days? 6 hundred 60 days.
you know what that is? it's a bad habit. it's like the worst habit.
hearing God's still small voice... in the early morning hours... it's so sweet.
and i've missed it. i heard it but i forgot it and went on with life. stuff. things.
it's important to remember, to embrace, to share, to live... not forget, not ignore, not suppress.
suppressed passion - purpose - leads to torment and probably early dementia. serious!
Lord, i don't know if now is just another day to "try" or if it's a new day to "do" but i long to be a doer. to follow my heart - the heart you gave me that has been broken and put back together so many times. the heart you reside in. the heart you love. the heart that sitting here at this computer is aching to know you better, to hear your voice, to remember, to act. Lord, i confess i've been lazy, distracted, self-centered. forgive me for focusing on me and my and not you and yours. i'm not stupid or rebellious any more - just human - just me :-) the me you created me to be and the me you can use. thank you for patching the hole in my heart so that all the good things don't keep falling out. thank you for waking me up to hear your voice. thank you for one more day... one more day... i won't take it for granted. not today. today i am a doer.
Deut 30:16 "And i command you TODAY: love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments, regulations and rules so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God, your God, in the land you are about to enter and possess."
here we go again... let's DO this! xoxo!